I just purchased 2 tickets for tonight’s Phillies game against the Reds. It was tough work purchasing tickets on the internet. It seems that even though you click best available seats, they think best available means upper deck last seat. So you have to keep clicking best available until the best available seat does in fact appear. And even then, that’s strictly a personal opinion. So I clicked and I clicked and seats would magically appear. I finally got to the $40 seats behind the plate, but they were like 30 rows back. Seems like a good idea to just purchase them. They would be covered since it’s supposed to rain tonight, and they would also be behind the plate which is a good spot. But in tonight’s game’s case, after a lot of clicking, the $20 right field seats popped up. You see, tonight is the night that Jim Thome is going to hit his 400th home run and it is also the night that Ken Griffey Jr. is going to hit his 500th home run. And my father and I are going to be right there to knock the little kids over and catch the balls. So tonight I will be sitting in section 104, row 14… a perfect spot to catch every pulled shot that is hit. The odds are always against you in catching any ball hit at a game, but hopefully I’ll return with some good news tonight. And if not… I’ll be extremely upset and I will smote all that oppose me and destroy every living creature that has more than 1 leg, and the world that is left will fear me because of the carnage that I have already caused. That’s right. So remember that bitches if you ever wanna die, come around and fuck with me and my boys where bullets fly.

What I’m listening to: Silence