In the wake of the Live 8 concerts and the G-8 Summit that has just begun, a lot of thought is being directed towards Africa. Everyone wants to send relief and monetary aid to these people. I just read a number that struck me upside the head like I was hit with the bluntest of all objects… $50 billion. As in, and I quote, “Blair has challenged G-8 countries to double aid to Africa to $50 billion by 2010, from the current $25 billion.” Just… wow! You know what? I have an idea for these people. EVOLVE!!! If $25 billion isn’t cutting it, what the hell are they going to do with $50 billion? Put a PlayStation 3 in the home of every African? I mean come on. Just evolve… Like the rest of civilization has done over the last millions of years. Now I’ve never been to Africa, but I picture it as a pretty crappy place for the most part. All of these people still living in tribes waiting for Kevin Bacon to come wisk them away to the NBA or something. I don’t know. I do know they had plenty of time to leave the continent before the rest of the world filled up and left them to die. That was their first mistake and it certainly wasn’t my fault. Africa is the oldest of continents yet they are the furthest behind. Does that make much sense? I mean America has come great lengths in the last 200 years!!! and no one was dropping $50 billion dollars in our laps!!! Africa had a friggin few thousand year head start. It’s just absurd. Tell these people to stop having sex; they’re obviously doing no good and it doesn’t take a retard to see that. Unless all of Africa is just actually retarded??? And instead of sending $50 billion, let’s just build a Trojan factory over there for a few million bucks and crank out some condoms. Every African who refuses to use one should be shot dead right there on the spot because they obviously don’t want any help and are just adding to the problem. After we kill a few thousand people who enjoyed spreading AIDS, the rest of the population may just get the picture. You know, I need stuff too, and I don’t want my taxes raised because these people can’t keep it in their pants and chose to live in an area where they knew they couldn’t grow food… and would get eaten by friggin lions might I add. And maybe… just maybe then… I can get my own PS3.

What I’m listening to: Velvet Revolver – Contraband