Whats that look on your face? Are you feeling Ok? ::vomit:: That’s the look of Tom Brady destroying another one of my fantasy seasons.

Last week I played it safe and lost a few points. This week I decided not to do that again, took a chance and lost a lot more. They say defense wins championships but I’ll tell you what really wins championships… not effing up week after week. If I lose by less than 15 points, it’ll be this epic fail that I’ll point to.

Once again I’m reminded to never use a WR in a flex spot. Every year it seems I need to be reminded of this fact. There’s always a better chance of a RB sneaking one into the end zone than a WR who is competing against 4 or so other receivers getting into the end zone. It really makes you appreciate Greg Jennings 5 TDs over the last 3 weeks. This week I decided to play Jeremy Maclin against the horrendous Texans D instead of starting LaGarrette Blount against a staunch Falcons run D. It was the consensus pick. I mean the Falcons have been giving up no rushing touchdowns over the last few weeks and the Texans only give up touchdowns. Over the last 4 weeks, Maclin has been scoring 9.58 points a week on average while Blount has been scoring 11.9 points a week on average. Based on the matchups Maclin was easily the best bet. Except for the fact that you’d have to be stupid to play a WR in a flex spot. That’s the little part I was forgetting. Well Maclin went on to get shut down against the Texans, only scoring 5.78 points, while Blount ran all over the Falcons with his 20/103/1 amounting to 20.3 points. Ugh. That punch in the gut may have started making me feel ill but it was my team not stepping up like they normally do to provide me with a little relief that kept the sickness growing.

Which leads me to a little breakdown. Over the last 3 weeks, Player A has scored 22.32, 19.98 and 33.08 points while throwing 1, 1 and 2 interceptions respectively. Meanwhile Player B has scored 21.9, 17.1 and 33.44 points while throwing 4, 4 and 3 interceptions. You might see where I’m going with this. Player A has been playing “fine”, some might say playing like a sportsman of the year while winning games, averaging 25.13 points with 1.3 ints a week while Player B has been seriously, seriously slumping while still averaging 24.15, less than 1 point a week than Player A, despite throwing 3.6 ints a game over the same span. Player B as you’ve probably already guessed is Peyton Manning. Player A is Drew Brees who is winning games and isn’t “struggling” but is still trailing Peyton Manning in fantasy numbers despite his major struggles.

Well Drew didn’t step up to save my season yesterday. Neither did Brandon Lloyd who thanks to Kyle Orton’s sickening performance only put up 2.57 points. The Saints Def who should have had a great matchup against the Bengals got lit up, not getting a single turnover from Carson Palmer. How on earth does that happen? I could have picked off Carson Palmer. Put me in coach. Luckily Cedric Benson was the main beneficiary of this defensive failure racking up 22.13 points. Him and Jennings, 6/122/2 for 21.63, saved my week from being completely disgusting.

So going into Sunday night I had all my hopes lying on a Steelers/Ravens shootout. In week 4 it wasn’t a shootout but Flacco got 17.04 points and Mendenhall got a sweet 26 points. Mendenhall’s numbers were a bit high but at that time Flacco was struggling. Since that week he’s been much better so I could hope for around the same total number in the end right? Wrong. Mendenhall couldn’t run at all and Flacco just crumbled in the end. Instead of 43 points I got 26 points. And so goes the season.

Or maybe not. I still have Monday night where my only hopes of salvaging anything would be the Jets D re-breaking Tom Brady’s leg on the first drive of the game. I needed the same defensive matchup that we got w/ the Steelers/Ravens the night before. The Jets D is the best though so they’ll be up for it. I mean they stopped Tom Brady earlier this year right?

Wrong. I think the only person who felt sicker than I did last night was Rex Ryan. He deserves it. Way to blow it. You really blew it Rex. Congratulations on that Super Bowl defense you got there. They performed as well as the Lions. Congratulations on that Super Bowl offense you got there. You performed worse than the Lions. Guess where the Lions ain’t going. The Super-est Bowl of them all. You blew it for yourself, your team, my fantasy team and probably countless other fantasy teams across the land. Well at least the fantasy teams that really matter. Mine. Thanks a lot. Once again Tom Terrific ruined me.

Now the season isn’t over yet, there’re still 4 weeks of football to be played, however it’s all uphill from here. What was once brought to a 3 point deficit out of first is now back up to a 50 point deficit. It’s certainly not insurmountable though. I’m reminded of the 4 weeks prior to this debacle where the Tortoises erased a ~100 point lead gaining almost 25 points a week on the leader. Now with 4 weeks to go the lead is half that. 12.5 points a week is not crazy. Just gotta hope the matchups are there. There’s still life left in these stumpy little Tortoise legs. Just keep on stomping Tortoise. Just keep on stomping.

What I’m listening to: Cee Lo Green – The Lady Killer