Dear Readers,
Writing this letter is the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do. By now, you might have noticed that I have left you for your best friend. Sorry about that. Don’t feel responsible. We just weren’t right for one another. Besides, my fascination with goat pornography prevents me from committing to a serious relationship and you deserve better.
You deserve someone who appreciates all of your special qualities, especially the obnoxious way you would attack me with your fuzz after not shaving for several months. Even though we’re no longer together, we’ll always have our memories. I’ll never forget the time you wore my underwear on accident… and you didn’t notice. Odd. But anyway…
They say that time heals all wounds, and I hope that soon, you will be able to say my name without sobbing. When this time comes, I hope we will be living in different state institutions.
Gotta run,
Brett
Break up with whoever you want to with this Break Up Generator.
What I’m listening to right now: Nickelback – The Long Road – Flat On The Floor