So thanks to Netflix, I’m now going to waste my entire life watching all there is to watch from the Stargate franchise. I always really loved the movie but never watched the TV show. Hey, I was 15 when it started and aside from never having Showtime, I had better things to do than to watch Stargate on TV during high school. Future me, or I guess, current me, is very unhappy that I didn’t watch because Stargate is right up my alley I think. So when I was home from work last Thursday, I started watching Stargate Universe. I thought the first season was only 10 episodes so it’d be really easy to catch up before season 2 starts next week. Well it turns out season 1 was actually 20 episodes however I made it through 7 episodes on Thursday and 10 more throughout the weekend. I didn’t really feel like I was at a huge disadvantage by not watching the other Stargate series but I did feel like some things would make a whole lot more sense and be a lot cooler if only past me had watched SG1. So with only 3 episodes to go until next week’s SGU season 2 premier, I said hey, why not go back and start watching Stargate SG1 during all my free time? What a moron I am. 3 episodes down. Only 211 episodes to go. And what sucks is I think I really, really want to watch Stargate Atlantis. One good thing is it’s all streaming on Netflix so I can watch it on my iPhone. At least that sounds good right now. It may be bad when I’m out to dinner and watching Stargate on my phone. Or at the movies and watching Stargate on my phone. Or talking to you on the phone but actually watching Stargate on my phone. Thank heaven the fall TV lineup starts this week. I was scared I would run out of things to watch.

What I’m watching: NFL Football: New Orleans Saints at San Francisco 49ers

Oh well. It doesn’t even matter what happens tomorrow. This will be one of the worst fantasy weeks I’ve ever had. Ever. We don’t even need to talk about.

What I’m watching: Stargate Universe

Well that wasn’t too much fun. Week 1, you let me down. Don’t even get me started on what happened outside of fantasy football. It was bad. But this is the fantasy rant so let’s set our focus. My week started with the first game of the season which was on Thursday. Saints vs Vikings. I had Drew Brees and the Saints defense going. The Saints D held up better than I anticipated vs the should be high powered Vikings offense and Drew Brees held up exactly how I expected vs that Vikings D. But you always expect more than 18.58 points from your stud, #1 pick, #5 overall, QB so that’s a little disappointing. Then Sunday comes. It was slow. Pretty much no action until the end of the first series of games. Cedric Benson salvaged his bad day with a late TD and Mendenhall completely saved my day with a sweet, sweet 50 yard TD run in OT. That was enough to make me smile a little. Jonathan Stewart… wtf. I know he’s ailing but that day was a scratch even if he was 100%. There was no doing in that game with Matt Moore at his worst. Man, did he look bad. Not even DeAngelo could get anything going. 2.2 points from my W/R. I only benched 7 points though so it’s not THAT bad. In the late games it was all receivers. Both receivers, Jennings and Maclin, found the end zone luckily. Brent Celek found nothing. Barely got any looks. Kolb was piss poor until he got hurt and Vick loves Jason Avant. I’m still lucky that Maclin got a TD in that fiasco. Joe Flacco went last night but it was against the Jets D so I was expecting very little. I got very little. What sucks is that I should have had more. He had plenty of opportunities and just played poorly. Perhaps him getting completely JACKED UP on the first play of the game may have had a little to do with it. My kickers had some pretty nice days to wrap the weekend up and all in all it wasn’t too, too bad. 120 points in the end which is only 5 points short of  good week, and I find myself in 3rd place. No reason to get worried yet. 16 weeks to go and a lot of football to play. But man I miss Chris Johnson. He’s a beast. It was torture watching him go off on Sunday and not having him in my lineup. Torture.

What I’m watching: Man V Food – Portland (Maine)

It’s Sunday morning at 9:55AM and I’m still completely torn over whether to start Johnny Knox over Jeremy Maclin. Reports are coming in that Kolb is primarily looking at Celek and Jackson today, but Maclin is playing against Al bum Harris’s backup. Meanwhile, Knox is playing against the Lions. Period. People are worried about Cutler’s O-line but what about that porous Eagles O-line? I think I’m gonna roll with Maclin just for the fact that I think he’ll be my guy the whole year so I’ll just roll the dice with him today. I drafted him for a reason. Because I think at the end of the year, he’ll be just as big as DeSean and DeSean paid huge dividends for me last year. Hey, it’s only week 1. What’ll be the point separation today anyway? 15 points? I’ll only need to make up 1 point a week to cover whatever happens today. Why am I even worrying? It doesn’t matter now. It’ 10:02AM. The rosters are locked. I am ready for some football.

What I’m watching: Fantasy Football Now

Yep, it’s that time of the year again. Saturday was my one and only fantasy football draft. The Galapagos Tortoises have returned to defend their crown… Well at least attempt to. I think it’s gonna be tough. It didn’t go nearly as smoothly as last year’s draft. After that draft I was pretty confident and I loved my team. Picks came to me, I didn’t have to reach for picks. This year was quite different. Let’s’ get to it.

I had the 5th pick this year. Right in the middle. The usual suspects flew right off the board and 5 was the first pick where you could really deviate from the rest of the world’s fantasy football leagues and just go with your gut. My gut, just like last year, said go with Drew Brees. In a league where you start 2QBs, and QBs are the highest scoring position, I went with as much as a sure thing as I could find rather than gamble on Frank Gore or the Burner. I guess the rest of the league was with me as Rodgers and Manning went in 2 of the next 3 picks. When round 2 swung around, I thought I was going to get DeAngelo Williams but he went the pick right before me. Now needing a RB, I had to take the last guy I had in that tier, Rashard Mendenhall. I gotta hope for a great start in the first 4 weeks without Big Ben that will just carry on throughout the season. Finishing up the stud rounds, I took Cedric Benson in the 3rd to finish up my starting RB core.

Now needing a WR, things got dicey. There are definitely not a lot of stud receivers this year and I was certainly playing catch up. Let’s hope that Greg Jennings, who has either QB 1A, 1B or 1C throwing to him, can score a whole lot of points. Last year I got crazy lucky with Reggie Wayne at this spot who carried me through some early weeks. Now with a QB, 2RBs and a WR, it’s time for best available. In round 5, that was Jonathan Stewart. I’ve had him before and that splitting carries is always tough to stomach on most weeks but as my flex starter, I think I could get some pretty nice returns. I don’t think he’ll outrun Williams in his final year in Carolina but Stewart’s a good football player on a crazy run happy offense. In 6, I got real happy. Best available fell in my lap in the shape of my #2 QB, Joe Flacco. Pretty hype on this. I didn’t think he’d make it back to me after I passed on him in 5 but he did and that made the Stewart pick that much more bearable if it doesn’t work out. I’ll add now that tight ends started coming off the board hardcore in round 6. Not just 1 but 4!

I had to bite. Besides, there was nothing else I really felt strongly about at other positions so in round 7 I reached and went for the #3 TE on my board, Brent Celek. Love this kid and needed an Eagle. Kolb looks like he’s struggling a bit and nothing helps a QB more than connecting with his stud TE. Round 8, the Eagles kept coming. Jeremy Maclin. Kolb’s looking at him a lot apparently so that hopefully will work out eventually. Round 9 I took another WR, Johnny Knox. Come on Martz and Cutler. Don’t let me down.

10 and 11 I went backup RBs. Justin Forsett who will hopefully get the bulk of carries in Seattle and Ricky Williams who will certainly be serviceable when Ronnie Brown inevitably gets injured. Unfortunately they both have the same bye week and that happens to be the same bye week as the Steelers so… ehhh we’ll just let future Brett figure that one out. Round 12, with no other needs, I figured I’d go Def. That well was pretty dry at this point though. I got stuck w/ the Saints. They were the #1 fantasy defense last year, hopefully they can bring back at least some of that magic. And I couldn’t take the Cowboys now could I?

Oops. It was then I realized that I should probably get a backup QB. Those pickings were real slim at this point. Almost every starter was off the board. I mean Tim Tebow had already been drafted… what could be left? Well I was eying Matt Cassel and lucky enough, he made it back. How I got him, I may never know. That’s about it. I got myself 2 dart board kickers and we’re set.

There’re obvious flaws in the team and, like I said before, it was nowhere near as good as last year’s but we’ll have to see how it works out. There are a lot of good teams this year and it’s pretty balanced. Football starts in 2 days. Drew Brees kicking things off for me. 3 1/2 months of fantasy football. What time is it?

I’m currently watching: Warehouse 13

Before there was Louis C.K… before there was Mitch Hedberg… my favorite comic was Robert Schimmel. He was the first stand up comic that really made me laugh. I remember seeing his Unprotected special on HBO for the first time. It was like 2 in the morning and I had to do everything I could from laughing out loud hysterically and waking up my mother and grandmother upstairs. I couldn’t breathe. It was just some incredible material. And now it sucks having to make this post. These posts always suck. Seems like just yesterday we lost Mitch and now Schimmel is gone too early. Robert passed away on Friday, 9/3, not from the heart attack he had in 1998 or the cancer that he beat from 2000 or even from his failing liver due to the Hep C he contracted from a blood transfusion while he was in the Air Force. No, Robert passed away from complications due to a horrible car accident he was in last week. Terrible. His raunchy comedy wasn’t always something you could discuss over the dinner table but it was always something you could laugh about with some friends. If you didn’t think it was funny, chances are we shouldn’t be friends. Chances are, we shouldn’t be friends anyway though. C’est la vie. It’s not always a good one but sometimes it’s a funny one. Do what you can to go watch or listen to some Schimmel stand up some time this week. If you have a sense of humor, you’ll be lucky you did.

What I’m watching: Becker