So I wasn’t projected to get through week 15 but I did. I guess I didn’t deserve to because I ended up getting destroyed in the Shiva Bowl. All in all, I guess 2nd place isn’t too bad considering my team was average at best. All I really had was Aaron Rodgers and a rag tag cast of B+ injured hit or miss all stars. The Tortoises’ll get em next year. If there is a next year.

What I’m watching: Jersey Shore

Or not. One cure for a horrible fantasy week is an ever more horrible fantasy week by the team you’re playing against. So I didn’t deserve it but I won and finished the regular season 11-3. Even with a loss though, I would have kept the #1 seed. It doesn’t matter though because it’s looking like I’ll be a real heavy dog throughout the playoffs. Hey, at least if I lose in week 1 of the playoffs, I’ll have a way more enjoyable Christmas not worrying about the fantasy championship. Everybody wins.

But that was one heck of a final week of the regular season. Every game was close, there were upsets and the team that was ranked #1 just 2 weeks ago didn’t even make the playoffs as the #5 team that is going to lose 3 balls in the lottery knocked off the #2 team tied for the best record and stole the #4 seed. I mean the Golden Tate Warriors got ~11 points from Eli Manning/Brandon Jacobs all in the last ~4 minutes of the the game. And all because Ahmad Bradshaw stayed out late and missed curfew or something and was benched the first half of the game. It made what would have been a really crappy Cowboys vs. Giants game on Sunday night pretty exciting. Lets hope this week is just as exciting.

What I’m watching: Chuck

Horrible fantasy week. Thank goodness the playoffs don’t start until next week. This is gonna be a bumpy ride. Regular season is going to end at 10-4. 2 games left. Let’s just get it over with already.

I’m going to start this post by stating up front that I was going into the matchup fully realizing that I was starting Alex Smith and Curtis Painter. I didn’t have much of a chance which is why this week ended up being quite an interesting one. I never feel out of it however with Aaron Rodgers and Michael Turner on byes and Beanie Wells very questionable… those are my top 3 players… I didn’t think a WR was going to help me very much. That is why I played this week without a 2nd starting WR.

Did I also mention I started “how is Shanahan going to screw me over?” Ryan Torain and Bernard Scott? I looked, I did the math, I did more math, I carried ones and double checked my work… the only thing that added up was that Antonio Gates gives me a way better shot at winning Week 11 than a WR gave me winning this week. I thought about dropping Bernard Scott and rolling with a WR and an injured Beanie Wells against the Ravens Def however I think Scott gets me more points than a WR/Wells combo. Wells is active but they’re saying limited role. Limited role against the Ravens just doesn’t sound good. And again, I got 5 total points from my WRs last week total so I’m never too excited to start anyone at that position.

The only way this backfires is if I lose this week by something like 5 points and Antonio Gates re-injures his foot before Week 11 or just has a miserable game in Week 11. So did any of this really matter? (I may or may not have written this while I was driving myself crazy setting my lineup before the games started. I mean really driving myself crazy.) Were there any lessons to be learned from any of this?

Yes. I learned… who cares? You can’t win em all. Sure, if I had started Beanie Wells and picked up one of the few WRs I was eyeing, I would have won easily. But I didn’t. I left Beanie on the bench and he scored 18 points against that tough Ravens Def and I left my WR spot empty; both WRs I would have picked up found the end zone.

So in the end, it looks like I Andy Reid’d myself this week. I overthought and just needed to do a better job of putting my team in a better position to win. Man, oh, man, did I overthink myself to death. Actually it’s probably more like a Denny Green moment. I let him off the hook. I guess it’s time to hop back on the horse and move on to next week. Time to start building my UFL Fantasy Squad.

What I’m watching: Beavis and Butthead

I really just need to resolve myself to the fact that I am going to lose this week and stop trying. It’s way easier that way.

If Tim wins this year, or even makes the playoffs, he better get the “Cakest schedule ever” award.

And we’re now halfway through the Fantasy Football regular season and I’m in 3rd place with a 5-2 record, an average of 143.99 PPG and 125.75 PPGA. That’s #1 PPG and #9 PPGA. This league is tough. #1 in PPG and this has been as far away from a walk in the park as it could get. It’s probably because of everyone on my team constantly getting injured. As of writing this, I’ve also had to lead the league in moves… with 19. That’s probably a year’s worth of moves for me normally. Now to the week 7 breakdown.

This was a trap game if I ever saw one. I was forced to look ahead at Week 8, against a divisional opponent who at the start of the week was ahead of me in the standings because I’ve already lost to him once and I’ll be without my #1QB and #1RB. How can I not look ahead? Besides, the team I was playing this week was not only without Tom Brady but without LeSean McCoy as well. Things don’t always go so smoothly though. I was playing the team tied with me atop the league in scoring and of course they call me the injured tortoises for a reason. I was finally getting ready to start Sam Bradford when he went down with a sprained ankle last week on, what I think was, the last play of the Week 6 game. So saddle up and get ready to ride Matt Moore. I need you this week against that bum Denver Broncos Def… 12.58 points. Shoulda had 15 but threw a very late, worthless pick. I’ll still allow it.

And then low and behold, the instant Karma came. Again, they don’t call me the injured tortoises for no reason. Not only did I lose Santana Moss very early in the game, 1.63 points, but Beanie Wells goes down in the red zone (6.6 points), gets a TD vultured by some dude I’ve never heard of and doesn’t return after that. Moss has a broken hand but its the Beanie Wells injury that is really bad. This dude is always injured. When healthy this year, he’s playing out of his mind but he’s just always getting hurt. Now he’s probably going to miss 1-2 weeks for the 2nd time this year.

So my WRs wind up with 2.88 points total. His WRs end up with over 30. Let’s just leave it at that because I had a 11 point lead heading into Sunday night and figured I’d be good with 20 more points from Jimmy Graham and the Saints Def combined. Well what I got was more than enough. 6/54/2 for 17.1 points from Graham and 17 points from the Saints Def. Sure it was nails in the coffin but it’s nails in the coffin that should keep me atop the league in points. Who knows where that can come into play but I’m sure it can’t hurt.

Aaron Rodgers is insane. He’s a guaranteed 25+ points a week. I just wish he didn’t have a bye week. Which he does this upcoming week. So does Michael Turner. Oh, and Beanie Wells is out and so is Sam Bradford again probably. If Bradford doesn’t play, I’m doomed. And Sam Bradford isn’t someone you want to rely on so I’m probably doomed regardless. Irregardless. There are only so many spots on a roster and I’m out of em. Wish me luck.

What I’m watching: Tosh.0

I never realized I wrote some of this, saved it as a draft and never finished or published it. Well here you go, a little late, but better late than never.

Every week somebody’s team has to have that big stinker, that one player who single handedly tries to submarine your entire effort. This week, that cruel fate belonged to my team in one, Rex Grossman. I didn’t expect much from him this week, I never really do. I just ask for 10-15 points and let Aaron Rodgers pick up the slack. This week, Grossman’s -0.98 points brought my QB average down to 13.61. Negative points. You have to love seeing that on the scoreboard. The only thing I’m more shocked at is how it was only -0.98. With his play today, I’m shocked it wasn’t -10. And that crap only brought down Santana Moss as well. Oh well, what can you do?

Even with that horrible mess that cost Rex Grossman his job, I still got the W with a little help from my friends. This week, my friend started Joseph Addai despite him being listed as Questionable and clearly not even traveling with the team as well as my friend losing Jason Campbell very early in his game. If those 2 things don’t happen, I probably lose. I have Vincent Jackson and Beanie Wells on byes and got a whole 0 points from the Saints Def. The Saints Def is awful. They can’t stop a thing and never get the turnovers they got me consistently last year. They showed promise Week 1 when I thought Sproles may run one back a few times this year but that hasn’t come to fruition and they’re only averaging me 5.5 points a week. Besides that, it was Aaron Rodgers and Michael Turner’s stellar 139/2 that carried me to victory. I’ll take it. The next few weeks are going to be ugly.

What I’m watching: NFL Football: Atlanta Falcons at Detroit Lions

It didn’t take me this long to write this wrap up post not because I didn’t want to push Caprica Six further down the page but just because I didn’t feel like it. It was a pretty uneventful week in fantasy land. Bye weeks are starting… I played an 0-4 team… I thought I was going to lose… I won. I honestly thought I was going to lose but that’s why you play the games. It was a little too close for comfort though as I only won by 12 points. When you think you’re going to lose, you go down approximately 50 points and trail all day, that’s just too close. My team is pretty stable right now but I still have some constantly questionable players, weak WRs, again, we’re starting the bye weeks plus there are some pretty good teams out there. Honestly it’s any given Sunday out there. Minus all the male nudity. Well I can only vouch for myself there. I don’t know about you weirdos. For sure though, I’m going to lose next week. It’s as much of a fact as bears eating beats and bears beating Battlestar Galactica. C’mon now? What is this page turning into? A BSG fan site?

What I’m watching: Big Bang Theory

“213 points. I can’t believe I was beat by the single greatest Fantasy Football day of all time. 213 points. ::smh::”

That’s what Matt would be typing if this was his blog… but it’s not. It’s mine. And I did, in fact, score 213.81 points this week. It started like any normal day. Woke up to another week of multiple Questionable players in the late games. “Oh boy this is fun”, I was thinking. One of the names was Beanie Wells again but this week we also get Vincent Jackson joining the injury game. I pick up a 4pm RB just in case and head to the bar. If Beanie’s out, I’ll start Reggie Bush. If Jackson’s out, I’ll drop Bush and get a WR. If both are out… well Jackson’s getting me 0.

So the morning games started and just kind of went. Nothing great, nothing horrible. Rex Grossman put up another stinker, 9.92 points, but at least he connected with Santana Moss so he got 9.85. Steven Jackson was playing solid. I was just happy he was playing so as long as he got me double digit points I’d be content. The TD towards the end was just icing on the cake. 16.17 points. Jimmy Graham. Every week with this guy. Another TD, this time with 132 yards, and he comes up with 17.3. My kickers got me 22 combined and the Saints Def eeked out 9 points. 84.24 total points from the morning games. Like I said, nothing to write home about. I drove home from the bar thinking that it was going to be a long shot winning this week with that total. “Show Me Your TDs” had 6 guys still to go, 2 of which were QBs, and I only had 4, 2 of which were Questionable.

I guess that’s when everything changed. Aaron Rodgers, 52.52 points, Beanie Wells, 37.2 points, Michael Turner, 25.9 points and Vincent Jackson, 13.95 points, just lit up the scoreboard all afternoon. VJackson did all his damage in the first half, 3/108/1, and didn’t return due to an injury in the 2nd. That should be fun again next week. Michael Turner decided to show up this week after last week’s disgraceful performance with 70 yards on the ground and 2 TDs. Beanie Wells shrugged off the Questionable tag with 138 rushing yards and 3… 3 TDs and then the real show happened; Aaron Rodgers missed Vick’s “greatest fantasy QB performance ever” from last year’s Redskins game by 2.4 points. 29 completions for 408 yards and 4 TDs in the air AND THEN 9 rushes for 36 yards and 2 TDs on the ground.

This is head to head so none of this really matters. It would have been way, way better last year. And I know, I know, records are made to be broken. The only thing they can’t take from you is the gold trophy and with the constantly injured players, that’s going to be really tough to do. Just watch how disappointing next week’s fantasy rant will be. I can see it already. It won’t be anything like this week’s 101.08 point victory. Yeah, you read that right. And again, that’s nice and all but it means nothing in H2H. The fact is though this day sure was incredible to watch. It wasn’t as much fun as you think it would have been as it all happened so fast, but it’s still kind of unbelievable considering this same team barely got me 110 points last week. You’ll always wonder “what if” though. What if I started Donovan McNabb instead of Grossman? I woulda had 220 points. Eh, we’ll save that for another day.

What I’m watching: Football Night in America

In the end all I really needed was 1 TD from Santana Moss on Monday night. After the horrible Sunday I had, all I needed was 1 TD from Sexy Rexy to the Cowboy killer, Santana Moss, whom I had to pick up because of Manningham’s feeble concussion. Regardless, the TD just wasn’t in the cards. In all my time playing Fantasy Football, I can’t recall being in a position like I was in this week. 2 of my 3 RBs were questionable, game time decisions, and in the afternoon games. 1 of the guy’s backups was also on my team but Questionable as well and playing a tough Def to boot. Another one of my players is already completely Out. There just aren’t enough bench spots in the world. Add some more bench spots. No. And drop that W/R spot. Again, no. I had to drop a kicker just so I could pick up another RB and contemplate over who to start for an hour before the game. Fantasy Football… you are not my friend. You’re challenging but not my friend. 2 of my RBs got me a combined 7.3 points. All 3 combined didn’t even get me 20. Nothing good happened aside from my new kicker getting me 18 of my 110 total, feeble, points. This has to be the bottom right? It can’t possibly get any worse. In week 3, I guess that’s a good thing.

Oh, by the way, this is the first week where the Turner over McFadden autodraft completely cost me one. Crappy Internet 1 – Me 0.

What I’m watching: MLB Baseball: Phillies at Braves